The Grinning Joker

It’s been a hellvua of past couple of weeks. Since I have limited resources to be grateful for a latter breakthrough. I never felt confident than ever before to see how the game is played among the peers. I do struggle with trust issues and the ability to deal with it. I’m a young, exceptional man with any means to brag. I mean what I say because it’s a positive affirmation to paint the picture of my own existence through experience. I’ve notice young men and old are currently struggling with their image or it could be the ability to bond with others to improve their status and standards. Standards is what “you” can build upon self but not living to others that seem to appear somewhat a weakling or undesirable. 


Nowadays it’s all about the appearance before engaging with someone to judge the personality of an appearance. I’ve noticed that when I was slim and happen to attract the game-players of relations of others. I started to workout with my mind along with the body as If I’m unbothered of emotions. I try my best to appear cold in meanwhile full of with fire of jealousy, using the vibe of sorrow to build with zealous pride to spread the contagious attitude among my peers that I’m not a punk to be dealt with but come with respect. As of now I am eating respect like in my favorite plate of lomien noodles, sesame chicken, egg rolls, cream cheese wontons and coconut shrimps to have them guessing. My poker face has them respect me even more as I pull the strings without doing nothing but stand with an unstrikeable pose as my shoulders lean and my head tilt to the side. I may be narcissistic as some may call it from a psychological field or standpoint. I’m no different than a sociopath or a psychopath. It’s the dire circumstances that make me stronger to be who I am to accept the harsh reality where I can’t control what others think but to be mad with sorrow masked in poker face of a grinning joker. Later I will have the final laugh since I am having fun with the emotion I’m currently experimenting of not making the move to justify anything. It’s their move as I build myself to be the standard of desire and the boundary dared to be crossed!

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